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Forward or Print and share this with those who will benefit. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You can view this and previous issues with greater ease by clicking here http://www.holisticharmony.com/clarity/ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You are receiving this because you have requested it. Removal instructions are at the end. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * All articles are by Robert Elias Najemy, unless stated otherwise * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * HELPING OTHERS TO DEPART PEACEFULLY AND CONSCIOUSLY Part 1 From the book Mystical Circle of Life at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Since it is inevitable that we are all going to leave these physical bodies, we might as well depart with dignity and peace of mind rather than in conflict, fear and turmoil. Many great beings of history have faced death with great dignity, courage and peace of mind. The moment of departure from the physical body also offers us a great opportunity for spiritual growth. It is a moment in which we have the greatest possibility of realizing our true spiritual nature. In the previous chapter we have discussed how we can begin to live and think in such a way, as to face death more consciously, peacefully and spiritually, without fear or conflict. In this chapter we will discuss some of the ways in which we can help others to make the same preparation, especially if they are close to death. It is obvious, however, that we will not be able to help others to make changes and transformations, which we have not made ourselves. Working on ourselves will be a prerequisite to helping others. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * A) WE LIVE IN A DEATH-DENYING SOCIETY * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Probably no other person in the western world has studied the process of death and dying as much as Psychiatrist Elizabeth K?bler-Ross, who worked with dying patients in hospitals all over the U.S.A. We might call her the first and foremost Western "thanatologist". She has done much to educate the doctors and nurses in American hospitals concerning the proper approach to a dying patient. Her valuable observations and conclusions can be found in her three books, On Death and Dying, Questions and Answers on Death and Dying, and Death, The Final Stage of Growth. Let us consider some of her findings: 1) We live in a «death-denying society». Neither the doctors, nor nurses, nor patients, nor relatives or friends are able to accept and face the fact of the mortality of the physical body. Thus we all try to ignore this reality. 2) As a result of her studies Psychiatrist K?bler-Ross has become convinced that there is life after death. She has openly declared in public lectures that for her, «It¢s not a matter of belief or opinion. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt». 3) She has also spoken in public with equal conviction concerning her belief in the reality of reincarnation. 4) Everyone knows the time of his or her death (at least subconsciously); thus it is seldom useful to hold this information from a dying person. 5) We are usually not able to hear or accept it when someone very emotionally close to us is trying to tell us that he or she feels that death is close. We ignore their message and try to cover it up with pleasantries so that we do not have to face this extremely painful reality. Thus we miss a valuable opportunity to communicate deeply with our loved one on this subject which is now dominating his or her mind. 6) Most people who have died and, for some reason, have come back to life, did not want to come back, but would have preferred to stay in the after-death state which they found so much more pleasant than the incarnated state. 7) Those people who had these death experiences, no longer feared death after they returned. 8) Everyone who dies is met by a loved one who has proceeded before him into the life beyond. This loved one comes to guide and help the departing one through the transition into the out of body reality. 9) Dying does not have to be a lonely, isolated experience, but can be deeply shared with others, who are mature and conscious enough to be able to share a wonderful experience, as the liberation of an immortal spirit from its physical confinement. 10) The departure from the physical body is probably the most beautiful experience of this life. 11) There are unseen, loving spirit guides within two feet of us at all times, so we never need to feel alone, or without help or support. 12) In the next dimension after death, there are different concepts of space and time. 13) After death, no one judges us, but we judge ourselves. In her vast study of hundreds, perhaps thousands of dying patients, who had to examine the value of their lives before dying, K?bler-Ross found two purposes, for living, to be predominant. 1) To be of service to others and not to live our lives satisfying only our own needs. 2) To learn to express love in all situations. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * B) HELPING OTHERS TO LIVE UNTIL THEY DIE * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Regarding the process of facilitating people close to death, Elizabeth has this to say: «Helping patients doesn¢t mean we help them to die, but that we help them to live until they die». «People who have learned to live are not afraid to die». Let us consider some of the ways in which we can help the dying person to be more peaceful and happy during his last days, before he or she departs for apparently more beautiful dimensions. (We do not want to say here that the material plane is not also beautiful, or that it does not have the potential to become a really beautiful place, if we would work towards it. We are simply reporting the evidence given by those who have died and returned; that as beautiful as this reality might be, the out of body world is even more beautiful. Neither are we recommending suicide or euthanasia, for each of us is here to learn very specific lessons, and until we learn those lessons, we are not free to leave). * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 1) PRACTICAL CONSIDERATIONS * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * (Note: As the custom is to refer to the third person singular with the male pronoun, we will for convenience do so, but in each case we equally mean he or she, him or her.) The first and most obvious help that we can give to a dying person is to help him to arrange for his practical needs and comforts. If the patient is able to face his pending death, he will want to arrange the details of his last will and testament. Besides that, there will be matters of insurance, details of how the family will continue without his presence. There may also be a need to find someone to substitute him in professional responsibilities. The patient will be able to leave much more peacefully if he knows that his family and work responsibilities here on the earth will be cared for in some way. A patient, however, may not be able to face discussing these matters, and thus one may not be able to help him. He should not be pushed. No one should be pushed beyond his or her own limits in facing death. Gradually, as the days pass, the inevitable will become more acceptable. We will discuss shortly the psychological stages a dying patient passes through, as he approaches his departure. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 2) FULFILLING NEEDS AND COMFORTS * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We may ask, «Is there any thing I can do for you or bring you, to make you more comfortable?» We are so often so overcome by depression with the fact that death is near, that we forget that the person is still alive and has the ability to enjoy life. He may want a book, or some special music, or a favorite food. He may want to have contact with an old friend or with some special person. He may want to see his priest. We may bring plants and peaceful music to his room. We may bring a musical instrument and sing together. He may want to see some slides, film or video which may be interesting to him. Any of these may or may not be interesting to the patient, depending on his psychological state. They should not be insensitively pushed onto a person who doesn¢t show interest. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 3) HELPING HIM TO RELAX * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The various mental conflicts, which permeate the mind of a person approaching death, often prevent him from being able to relax or even to sleep well. In addition there are often strong pains, or bodily difficulties, which increase muscular tension and prevent relaxation. The tension created by the pain in turn creates more pain, which in turn increases the tension in a vicious circle. In many hospitals today patients are taught how to overcome pain through deep relaxation and concentration. By systematic, conscious relaxation of the muscles, the pain can be lessened or even eliminated. The patient can also be taught to imagine healing energies and light penetrating the areas that are diseased, not functioning or painful, and begin to heal them or at least remove the pain with the power of the mind. Cassettes are available for helping patients learn such techniques. Another way to help the other to relax is with «co-meditational comforting breathing», which is a Buddhist technique, in which we breath with the other, guiding him to breath slowly as we make a sound AAAAAA on his exhalation. He also may make the sound AAAAA with you at first, until he tires and cannot continue. Then you can continue for him. You may also count his breaths on the exhalation, or say a prayer or mantra for him on his exhalation. In this way you are connected through the process of breathing for about twenty minutes. This helps the patient to transcend pain and connect with deeper states of inner peace. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 4) MASSAGE, STROKING AND LOVING CONTACT * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * For those who know how to massage, this can be a wonderful way to relax and remove the pain for the suffering patient. If the patient is seriously ill, then one should be sure that massage is not contraindicated. Often when massage pressure might be contraindicated on the suffering area, it may be possible to bring relief by doing reflexology massage on the bottom of the feet for the corresponding area which we want relieve. Again one should know what one is doing, if the patient is seriously ill, especially if there is any internal bleeding. If one doesn¢t know how to give a massage, or feels that massage is not wise under the circumstances, (a doctor can be consulted), then equal benefit can be achieved by simply stroking the patient in a loving way on the arms, the legs, the head or any other part of the body which one intuitively feels would be comforting for the patient. Spiritual healing in which we place our hands on the person¢s chest, abdomen or forehead and allow healing energies to pass through us from God to the patient is of invaluable benefit for healing, for relaxing and even for passing out of the body peacefully. Simply place your hands where your intuition guides you and pray to God that His energies and love pass through you into the other. Then let your be mind empty and allow the energy and peace to flow. If it is best not to touch the body at all, then we can do the same allowing our hands to pass over the body about 1 to 3 inches from the body. It this way, we stroke and smooth out the energy body. This is sometimes called "therapeutic touch" and is used in some hospitals by nurses. It relieves pain and speeds healing. Simply holding hands or letting one¢s hand rest gently on the patient¢s body offers an opportunity for the transfer of love, energy and peace that the patient is greatly in need of. There is no greater healing energy than love. Many people are in hospitals and mental clinics simply because they have not had enough love and affection in their lives. Loving contact can also be established through words, or even through the eyes, In the last days less words are necessary and the patient may have his eyes closed more and more. In such times, our loving presence in the room is enough. We need not talk, nor necessarily make any kind of physical or verbal contact. We may sit silently and be peaceful and loving. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 5) MEDITATION, PRAYER AND POSITIVE THOUGHT PROJECTION * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * As our friend, or loved one, begins to spend less time in the waking state and more and more in the sleep state, preparing for his departure, we can sit silently and focus our minds in meditation or prayer. We can bring our minds to a state of pure peace. Then, if we like, we may pray for the spirit who is about to be liberated. We may pray for a cure, or we may pray for safe guidance, or we may simply visualize our loved one surrounded by white light. As he is surrounded with this white healing light, we may visualize the Christ or some saint or angel coming to help him. That help, may enable him to get well and continue living some more years, or it may ensure that he will leave his body peacefully and proceed under the guidance of these beings of light, along the path of his spiritual evolution. It is best to leave this decision to Divine wisdom, for we do not always know what is best for the spirit. Our personal desires and needs make us believe that it is always best to live. But that spirit¢s time may have come and it may be best for him to leave now. Our prayers for him to stay are often based on our own selfish needs and desires, and these prayers can prevent him from being able to leave. It is best to surround him with white light and pray to God to help him, and leave his fate (and ours) up to God. We may express our preference that he be healed, but then we must leave the final result to His Infinite Wisdom. The purpose of life is not simply to live, it is to evolve. Death is a very important step in the process of evolution. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 6) BE CHEERFUL, OPTIMISTIC & HAPPY * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Our thoughts and feelings have a deep effect upon the people around us. This is even truer of ill persons who are more sensitive, open and easily affected by our thoughts and feelings. Even if we do not express these thoughts and emotions verbally, the patient will perceive them. Psychiatrist Richard Alpert who attended a seminar by Elizabeth K?bler-Ross explains here how she brought this point across to an audience of medical professionals. She asked them: «How would you feel if you came into a hospital room to visit a twenty-eight year old mother dying of cancer?» The answers called out from the audience included: angry, frustrated, pity, sadness, horror, confusion, etc. Then she asked us, «How would you feel if you were that twenty-eight year old mother and everyone who came to visit felt those feelings?» Suddenly it was apparent to all of us how we surrounded such a being with our reactions to death, and forget that there is a being just like us in that body, who needs to make straight contact with someone». Thy dying or seriously ill patient has enough inner conflicts and problems of his own, without our adding our fears, depression and negative thinking. As much as possible we should try to strengthen our faith in some basic spiritual beliefs: a) We are immortal spirits and only the physical body «dies». b) The soul that leaves the body is perfectly well after death; much better than before. c) We too, are immortal spirits who have the strength to continue to live and even to be happy after our loved one leaves. We will certainly pass through some emotional pain due to the loss of this important person, but we will sooner or later get over it and continue our lives. Why not let it be sooner? d) All earthly events are happening according to divine wisdom, and thus no spirit can leave its body, before its perfect departure time has come. e) Life is always giving us exactly what we need in order to grow spiritually, even if it might be unpleasant. The pending death of our loved ones (whether he eventually gets well or actually dies) is a spiritual opportunity to develop emotional, mental and spiritual maturity and strength. If we can remember these basic spiritual truths, then we will be able to be much more optimistic, cheerful and loving. We will have more love, energy and patience with which to help our loved one who is passing through such an internal crisis. We have much more to offer in terms of emotional support, if we ourselves overcome our negative emotions. We should, however, avoid false happiness, or empty smiles. We should not act out emotions that we do not truly have. If we connect with those spiritual truths, we will be naturally optimistic and peaceful. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 7) STAYING AT HOME VS. STAYING IN A HOSPITAL * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It seems rather obvious that if it is at all possible, a person would prefer to spend his last days in the peaceful loving environment of his home. Although hospitals offer the advantage of emergency medical help, they leave much to be desired in offering the patient the conditions he needs to die with dignity, self-respect, peace and love. Elizabeth K?bler-Ross, who worked daily in hospitals, firmly agrees. She makes the following comment about hospital environments: "He may cry for rest, peace and dignity, but he will get infusions, transfusions, a heart machine, or tracheotomy if necessary, He may want one single person to stop for one single minute so that he can ask one single question - but he will get a dozen people around the clock, all busily preoccupied with his heart rate, pulse, electrocardiogram or pulmonary functions, his secretions or excretions but not with him as a human being. He may wish to fight it all, but it is going to be useless fight, since all this is done in the fight for his life, and if they can save his life they can consider the person afterwards. Those who consider the person first may lose precious time to save his life! At least this seems to be the rationale or justification behind all this - or is it? Is the reason for this increasingly mechanical, depersonalized approach our own defensiveness? Is this approach our own way to cope with, and repress, the anxieties that a terminally or critically ill patient evokes in us? Is our concentration on equipment, on blood pressure our desperate attempt to deny the impending death which is so frightening and discomforting to us that we displace all our knowledge onto machines, since they are less close to us than the suffering face of another human being which would remind us once more of our lack of omnipotence, our own limits and failures, and last but not least perhaps our own mortality?" At home a dying patient can have his favorite meals which in many cases may give him the incentive to eat that which he needs in order to gain strength and perhaps get well. He will be surrounded with comfortable, friendly, warm and loving vibrations that will positively influence his state of mind and therefore his state of health. There will be less people walking in and out of his room, less noise and less disturbances throughout the day. This, of course, may not be true of all home environments, some may not be conducive to health and peace of mind. Also, some illnesses just cannot be handled in a home environment, either because complicated instrumentation is necessary, or because there is just no one at home capable of tending to the patient¢s needs. Regardless of these facts, most patients would most likely like to spend their last days in the familiar environment of their home, and leave with peace and dignity, rather than to become just another corpse in a mechanized hospital. In many cases, the length of life is not nearly so important as the quality of life. Each dying or seriously ill person and his family will have to decide these matters for themselves. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * From the book "THE MYSTICAL CIRCLE OF LIFE" http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp by Robert Elias Najemy * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Testimonials About our Life Coach Training For testimonials at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/#2 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You can benefit by removing the energy fields of negativity and fear with Energy Psychology as described in the book Free to be Happy with Energy Psychology. (Also titled Remove Pain.) http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/eft/index.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Free email courses * * * * * * * * * * We have created for you FREE email Courses for improving your health, relationships, self esteem, love, forgiveness, happiness etc. Go to http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/courses/index.asp and click on the courses you would like to follow and you will receive one lesson a week for free. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * SEE IMAGES FROM OUR CENTER AND SEMINARS at http://www.holisticharmony.com/Myrrinounda/index.asp Over 85 photos for your interest * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You can view a shorter version of the EFT tapping procedure by downloading the file http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/EFT-Short-version.mov (File size 2.2 MB - Right Click to download to your computer) View this with QuickTime and leave in original size in order to see details. For more information about how to do EFT, go to: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/eft/index.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ebooks by Robert Elias Najemy View them at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp 1. Universal Philosophy 2. The Art of Meditation 3. Contemporary Parables 4. The Mystical Circle of Life 5. Relationships of Conscious Love 6. The Miracles of Love and Wisdom 7. Remove Pain - Physical and Emotional with Energy Psychology by Tapping on Acupuncture Points 8. Saram ? The Adventures of a Soul and Insight into the Male Psyche And available also at bookstores near you and also on our site 9. The Psychology of Happiness http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * => 1. 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Inner Security - In this relaxation we imagine ourselves in situations which in the past have caused us to fear or feel anxiety but now we visualize and feel ourselves with inner peace, self-confidence, inner security while in touch with or dealing with that situation. 4. Inner Guidance - We focus on any particular question or dilemma and move through a process which allows us to get guidance on that issue. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Relaxation CD no. 2 with four guided relaxations for only $8 1. Inner Security - In this relaxation we imagine ourselves in situations which in the past have caused us to fear or feel anxiety but now we visualize and feel ourselves with inner peace, self-confidence, inner security while in touch with or dealing with that situation. 2. Inner Guidance - We focus on any particular question or dilemma and move through a process which allows us to get guidance on that issue. 3. 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It offers a variety of techniques, questionnaires and guidelines for creating happiness. It covers many subjects including: Psychology of Evolution, Managing Emotions, Overcoming Fear, Loving Ourselves, Facing Loneliness, Stages of Love, Reconciling Inner Conflicts, Healing Our Inner Child, Forgiveness and Freedom, Coping with the Death of Loved Ones. Included are 23 case histories - real life situations and the possible lessons, which we can learn from such and similar situations. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ Over 100,000 of Robert E. Najemy's 19 books have been sold in Greek, an impressive number considering the small population and reading tendencies of the Greek public. 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