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CLARITY
The Psychology of Happiness
Concepts for a Happier more Harmonious life
Published every 7th and 21st of the month
January 21st , 2004 Circulation 2400 Issue # 55

Focus - Petros Faces the Truth
Freedom from the Fear of What Others Think
Part 1

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All articles are by Robert Elias Najemy, unless stated otherwise

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Prologue

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From Robert Najemy's new novel - Petros Faces the Truth
Freedom from the Fear of What Others Think
Available soon from
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp
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Let me give you a little peak into the future.

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We are four couples sitting together in Stefanos¢ mountain home in
front of three thieves with guns pointed at us.

The boss of this gang is really enjoying himself. "Okay, my friends,
it¢s time for the game of your lives. You will now either be freed from
your fear of the truth or you will die here tonight. Let me explain.
Each of you will take turns telling truths about yourselves that the
others don¢t know. The truths that you tell must be ones you feared
telling until now."

"Also, because you are all such hypocrites there¢s another
prerequisite. You each must be able to accept the others even after
having heard their deepest and dirtiest secrets."

"Now, because the person most likely to be upset by your secrets is
your spouse, I want you to change your positions and sit as couples.
This way, I¢ll have more fun watching the expressions on your faces as
you learn the deepest secrets of your spouses. Remember, in order to
pass this test you have to be able to accept the other no matter what
he or she says. You will need to tell the truth about how you feel when
you hear the secrets kept by your partners and friends."

"Just in case you plan to keep some secrets, I think I¢ve already
showed you that I know what you¢re hiding." He looks at me. "Isn¢t that
right, Mr. Come-Back-from-the-Dead?Spiritual-Seeker?"

This is both scary and comforting. It¢s scary because they have guns
which they¢ve already used and seem capable of actually killing us.
Comforting because we are obviously in the presence of an exceptional
being. I nod. "Yes, but how do you know all this?"

Now that he¢s obviously in control, he¢s speaking with less anger.
"Books can only teach you so much. Life and pain are even greater
teachers. You are seeking to know yourself through books, seminars and
techniques. This is a waste of time. You can know yourself only through
total truth and acceptance of all that exists in yourself and others."

This is a very strange setting for spiritual teachings and yet he makes
sense. If it wasn¢t for the gun in his hand, I would consider that I¢m
in the presence of a spiritual teacher. "I see what you¢re saying. But
why the guns?"

e continues. "You need fear of death in order to overcome your fear of
truth and your resistance to acceptance. You need energy to overcome
these forms of stagnation within you. Your fear of these guns will give
you the energy to make this change."

I continue with my questions. "And if we don¢t overcome our fear of
truth and cannot accept each other as we truly are, then what? Will you
actually kill us?"

He looks penetratingly into my eyes with an eerie self-confidence.
"Yes, we will kill you. Why? Because if in this situation you don¢t
have the guts to tell the truth and accept yourselves and others as you
all are, then you¢ll never do so and your lives are not worth living.
You might as well die and start over again."

"You¢re being given a chance to free yourselves from your fear of
truth. This is also an opportunity to lose your fear of what others
think about you and of what they will think and do if they know the
truth about you. If you refuse this lesson, you don¢t deserve to live.
Your life has no meaning as long as you live in fear of others. This
fear prevents you from being yourself. If you¢re not yourself, you
don¢t actually exist. If you don¢t exist, your death doesn¢t remove
anything from the world."

This horribly brutal theory of life oddly makes some sense to me.
Everything he said, except for the fact that we don¢t have the right to
exist, makes sense. We actually don¢t exist when we cannot be
ourselves. He¢s right. We¢re living with false masks that hide who we
really are ? all of this because we fear rejection if people really
know us. This is indeed a strange situation. We¢re being taught genuine
truths from a thief and potential murderer.

He turns his gun to me. "Start!"

His gun has now become an evolutionary force, pushing me into the
depths of my fears and hopefully beyond them.This is truly a strange
sequence of events. I continue to stall. "If I speak now, I won¢t do so
because I¢ve overcome my fears. Rather, I will speak in fear that I¢ll
lose my wife¢s love and my friends¢ respect. So I won¢t be free from
fear as I speak."

The boss is shaking his gun again. "You are stupider than I thought. No
one is without fear until they do what they fear. Of course, you¢ll
have fear as you speak and you¢ll do so because you fear death even
more than losing your wife¢s love and your friends¢ respect. That¢s how
you¢ll overcome the fear. This is acting parallel with your fear. You
feel your fear and you do what you fear anyway. So start now!! I¢m
losing my patience."

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But let us start at the beginning.

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Chapter 1

TO DIE OR NOT TO DIE THAT IS THE QUESTION

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
From Robert Najemy's new novel - Petros Faces the Truth
Freedom from the Fear of What Others Think
Available soon from
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

DEATH OF THE EGO = BIRTH INTO LOVE

My name is Petro and I want to share with you an experience which
changed the foundation of my life, turned my value system upside down
and opened my heart to love. I will relate the events to you in the
present tense with the hope that, in this way, my description might
resemble perhaps 20% of the actual experience which is, of course,
indescribable and beyond words, time and space.

I hear screeching and a maniacally blowing horn. I look. It¢s too late.
A truck in the opposite lane has swerved uncontrollably towards me and
is about to destroy me. As it crashes into my side of the car, the door
collapses into my body and the car is rolling over off the road. I¢m
too shocked to feel. Then I hear a tremendous buzzing - a painfully
powerful sound which scares me. I¢m being drawn out of the wreckage.
I¢m being sucked up through a dark tunnel. I have no power over what is
happening. I¢m moving towards a blinding light - a thousand times
whiter and brighter than the sun. As I approach the light, my feelings
abruptly change. There is peace. Words fail to describe the colors and
peace which fill my being.

MY NEW BODY

I still have a body. I¢m feeling fine. My body is however different. It
flies and moves simply by my willing it to. My body is transported to
wherever I focus my mind. Although my physical body was not in good
shape and had various aches and pains before the crash, I¢m now without
pain and feeling highly energized. In fact my body is energy. As I
focus my attention on the world I was just sucked out of, I remember
the crash and look down. People have stopped their cars and are trying
to get my body out of the wreckage. They¢re shouting and arguing about
how to proceed. Although I realize that this is my body, I¢m rather
indifferent about the outcome of their efforts. In fact, I wonder why
they¢re so upset and so anxious about whether they¢re going to save me.
I¢m fine, better than I have ever been in my life. Or is this life?
What is life? I seem to be alive yet I¢m not centered in that body
they¢re trying to save. I approach them in an attempt to explain to
them that I¢m fine but as I approach, they simply stare ahead as if I
don¢t exist and walk right through me. They are visible to me but I am
not visible to them. I can hear them but I am inaudible to them. I pass
through matter and matter passes through me. Except for the fact that
I would like to be able to communicate with them, I like this new body
very much. I¢d like to explain to them that I¢m fine and that death ?
if that¢s what I¢m experiencing - is just great. I feel so liberated
from all my problems and physical limitations.

MY WIFE
<R> My wife, Maria! At the very instant I think of my wife I¢m suddenly
transported to her bedroom where she¢s brushing her hair. My thought
has transported me. This is the most wonderful way to travel. Now that
I see her, my feelings change. She hasn¢t heard the news yet but she
feels that something has happened. She has a deep feeling of danger and
now that I¢m here, she senses me. She¢s attuned to my energy and feels
my presence. She¢s beginning to panic but doesn¢t know why. She¢s aware
that something horrible has happened but doesn¢t know what. I reach out
to touch her. She senses it not with her skin but with her heart. I
love her deeply. I feel pain when I think of losing her. Even more so -
I cannot bear for her to go through this pain of losing me. I am
simultaneously experiencing the peace of being free from my body and
also the concern about my beloved wife and how she will handle this
situation. I am fine. She is not. I realize that we the "living"
actually mourn for ourselves when we lose a loved one and not for the
"dead". We "deceased" are fine, as we are now experiencing our free
bodiless nature. The "living" are continuing to experience fear and
pain due to their identification with their bodies and the loss of the
body of the departed.

I am now acutely aware that the structure of our lives is based on the
illusion that we are these bodies. We base our self-worth on our
physical appearance. Our security depends on what is happening to the
body - whether it¢s well or not. We are focused on the others as bodies
and not as souls that exist even out of and after the body. What a
shame, what a waste of life. I am not that body lying in the wreckage.
I am here watching my lovely wife.

BEING LOVABLE

As these realizations manifest in my mental field, a light begins to
form to my wife¢s right. This formless light gradually begins to take a
form. It becomes a being of light similar to the angelic forms we see
in paintings. This being is more of a spiritual light-energy-essence.
It smiles knowingly. It knows everything I am thinking. It gives me the
feeling that it knows me deeply including all that I have thought, said
and done in my life. Although, until now, I have been truly ashamed of
many of my thoughts and actions, that shame now disappears. I feel that
this being loves and accepts me unconditionally ? just as I am. This is
the first time I have ever been loved as I am. This being is making me
feel that I am okay, lovable and worthy of love and respect. This is a
totally new experience for me. This feeling of being totally loved
opens my heart. I feel an inner desire to be an even better person than
I have been until now. I feel this desire to better myself, to become a
more loving person. Unti now, fear has prevented me from feeling and
expressing my love, especially to my wife. I now feel that there is a
greatness in me which I have never recognized or expressed. I feel that
I am good and it is that feeling which makes me desire to change.
Strange how this unconditional love and acceptance has accomplished
what all those people who criticized and rejected me all my life had
been trying to achieve - my willingness to see my self objectively.
They wanted me to see where I had not been behaving in a sensitive,
just and loving way. They wanted me to change ? but because of their
own needs. This being needs nothing from me. It just loves me. I
realize then that we seek to change ourselves and others mainly by
criticizing and rejecting. And yet, in this way, we ultimately obstruct
real change. Our innate desire to improve ourselves is naturally
awakened when we feel safe enough to see ourselves objectively. This
happens when someone loves us uncoditionally just as we are. I am
beginning now to realize how confused we are when we are imprisoned in
our bodies.

REGRESSION INTO THE PAST

These thoughts fade away and I am now traveling back into time. I see
myself as a baby and then in my mother¢s womb. Now I am before my birth
watching my mother pregnant with my body-to-be. I¢m not particularly
excited about being born because that would mean leaving my free
bodiless state to enter that small limited embryo which will be at the
mercy of my parents, relatives and teachers. I¢m aware that they will
program me to doubt myself, to fear, to become selfishly oriented and
lose all of my natural spiritual qualities. On the other hand, there¢s
a force which is pushing me into physical existence. There are
invisible powers around me indicating that I need to incarnate in order
to learn. I don¢t like the idea but sense the importance of it. I sense
that I¢m in an evolutionary process and that my birth has something to
do with that process. This thought is now provoking a vision. I see my
life purpose. I am entering this body in order to learn to experience
my own self-worth and inner security so that I can forgive and love
others unconditionally. I must also learn to more specifically express
that love, especially to my wife. I watch my life unfold before me. I
see the car crash taking place. I¢m shocked. It appears that I¢ve
decided this even before I¢ve been born. I now understand that I¢ve
chosen my mother, father and the car crash. As I wonder what else I¢ve
chosen before I was born, I see my life as a river flowing in banks
which are expanding and contracting and changing direction
continuously. I realize that, although I¢ve chosen to fulfill my
specific life purpose, this will be a fluid process in which my every
choice and reaction will in some way affect the direction of my life. I
have chosen certain major events such as my parents and this accident
but most other events of my life are the result of my moment to moment
choices and reactions.

LIFE EVALUATION

I¢m moving through time forward towards the "present". It¢s difficult
to explain what¢s happening. I¢m free to be anywhere in time as I
please. It¢s as if my existence blankets all time. Just as a map
expresses many places simultaneously, my being is extended over and
touching all time. Thus, I can be in any time that my mind chooses.
Just as I was moved earlier to my wife when I thought about her, now
I¢m being moved instantaneously through time. I am beyond time and
space. I am all encompassing. And yet I also have this energy body. I¢m
reviewing my life, observing specifically events which have to do with
my goal of inner self-worth, inner security, forgiveness and
unconditional love. I¢m evaluating each experience determining where my
reactions were based on love and where not. I can see where I have been
mostly selfish. My motives are very obvious. I recognize my fear,
anger, jealousy and selfish desires. As I observe these weaknesses in
my character, I feel no guilt or shame. I¢m looking at them in the same
I way I used to examine my car when it would not work properly. I would
just look for the problem so as to solve it and had no negative
feelings about myself because my car wasn¢t functioning correctly. And
now, I¢m having no negative feelings because my body and personality
are not functioning perfectly. I¢m noticing the mistakes I¢ve made and
discovering the causes so that I can correct them. There is no guilt or
pride. I¢m detached from the personality which I¢m investigating. I
can now see that each time I¢ve acted without love, I¢ve done so
because of my fear. Yes, fear is behind all my negative feelings and
reactions. I feel anger because I¢m afraid. I tell lies because I¢m
afraid to tell the truth. I become selfish and egotistical because I¢m
afraid for my self-worth and security. It becomes apparent that as
long as I identify myself with this body and personality, my thoughts,
words and actions will be based on fear. I fear what other people think
about me. I fear failure, making mistakes, being laughed at, criticized
or rejected. I¢m becoming aware that I¢ve sold my soul to others. They
dictate my life. I cannot be myself. I need their acceptance and
approval. I need their presence in my life so as to feel safe and
secure. This realization shocks me. I realize that I have never been
myself. I also see that no one else is honestly being his or her
natural self. We¢re all wearing masks that hide our real feelings,
needs, weaknesses, fears and beliefs. We¢re ashamed to share or
externalize our fears, our needs and even our love and admiration.
This realization rocks the foundation of my being. What a painful
existence we live. No wonder we drug our selves with a continual
barrage of external stimuli, TV, magazines, work, often meaningless
conversations, cigarettes, alcohol, food and anything else which will
drug the pain of not being in any real contact with ourselves, others,
nature or God. Now I understand why I had been so focused on sensual
satisfaction. These were the only moments in which I could experience
the present. All the rest of the time I was in my mind, anxious about
the past and present. I was mainly concerned about how I was going to
control everyone and everything around me so as to create the illusions
of my externally based self-worth, security and freedom. As I move
through these memories, I realize that others are playing a very
important role in my evolutionary process. I am learning through them,
through the situations stimulated in me by their behavior. I see why
people were behaving to me in certain ways. They were unconsciously
giving me exactly the stimuli I needed in order to experience various
emotions which I then felt the need to liberate myself from. In my
attempt to get free from those emotions, such as jealousy,
self-rejection, fear, anger, hatred etc., I was being given the
opportunity (which I seldom took) to see people and events from a
different perspective. The few times I was successful in getting free
was when I was able to put myself in their position and feel their
fear, hurt and feelings of injustice which caused them to behave
towards me in this way. When I occasionally did, I was freed from my
negativity by understanding them. As I examine these events, I discover
a new thought which allows me to free myself from my negative feelings.
That thought is a belief in God and his wisdom and justice. When I
think, "God, who loves me, is allowing these people to behave towards
me in this way," then I can also think, "this must have some purpose
and there must be a higher justice which I cannot perceive."
Occasionally, as I move through my reevaluation process, the being of
light alternately becomes apparent, making my understanding clearer,
and then recedes into the back ground. But it is always there. I am
experiencing various emotions. I¢m aware not only of what I felt then
in each event, but also what I feel now that I see myself more
objectively. But the greatest surprise is that I¢m also aware of what
the others were feeling when confronted with my behavior and reactions.
This is like an instant "karmic reaction". I instantaneously feel what
others feel with my behavior. This is incredibly effective as a
learning process. It¢s a shame it doesn¢t work like this when we¢re in
our bodies. If it did, we would "get our acts together" much more
quickly.

I realize that, until now, my reactions have been a function of my
emotions. My emotions are created by my beliefs which, in turn, are a
result of my childhood experiences. Now I also see that I have chosen
my childhood experiences just as I chose my parents. I see that I have
not been the victim of my parents¢ mistakes. I see that I chose them so
as to create the specific experiences and thus the beliefs which I
wanted to work on and transform in this life. I chose them and their
actions so that in my later life I would be able to transform my belief
system and move on in my evolutionary process.

THE POWER OF CONSCIOUS CHOICE

(To be continued in the next issue)
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The Psychology of Happiness
by Robert Elias Najemy

The Psychology of Happiness penetrates to the heart of the subject of
human happiness in a deep and yet simple, clear and understandable
manner. It offers a variety of techniques, questionnaires and
guidelines for creating happiness. It covers many subjects including:
Psychology of Evolution, Managing Emotions, Overcoming Fear, Loving
Ourselves, Facing Loneliness, Stages of Love, Reconciling Inner
Conflicts, Healing Our Inner Child, Forgiveness and Freedom, Coping
with the Death of Loved Ones. Included are 23 case histories - real
life situations and the possible lessons, which we can learn from such
and similar situations.
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Over 100,000 of Robert E. Najemy's 19 books have been sold in Greek, an
impressive number considering the small population and reading
tendencies of the Greek public. Some are translated into Portuguese, Persian,
Polish, Arabic and German.
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SEMINARS
For information about ongoing and also weekend seminars in the
following areas email us or call the following numbers

GREECE: (in Greek) - Continuously - call 210 6818220 or 210 6818151

CYPRUS: (Greek) call 5- 431616 or 2-772808 or 9 626198

LEBANON (in English) call 03 819818

USA: If you are interested email us at ren@holisticharmony.com

If you would like to organize a seminar in your area or

If you are interested in attending a seminar in English at our retreat Center in Greece,
communicate with us at ren@holisticharmony.com

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Visit us at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com or subscribe:
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Those of you who are being confronted with serious Life Issues at this
time are encouraged to try out our Life Clarification Process at
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com
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Articles in this and previous issues can be viewed at
http://www.holisticharmony.com/clarity/
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Again we wish for you to be well
and hope that you will care for yourself
and your loved ones.

May you be well on all levels of your Being.

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MIND POWER STUDIO
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How To Know Your Higher Self In 7 Steps.

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See my Peace Impact